So I wanted a chocolate chip cookie, and so first I ate stuff I knew would help me feel better despite the cookie.  Then I made myself a mug of Kaffree, heated the cookie up briefly so it was niiiiiiice and gooey, and slowly ate it.  And licked the chocolate off the plate.

I considered having another one, then I remembered the way I make it through junky cravings without making myself sick. So far it’s working, so I thought I’d share. 

Seriously, try savoring half the amount to get twice the enjoyment. Really and truly pay attention to the sensations and the pleasure of them to make them stick. As you’re enjoying the last bites, really drink in the flavor and texture to carry forward into the moments after it’s gone.

Her condescension dripped even in the recollection. She was apparently somewhat offended at the idea, but managed to rattle off three things including using a clothesline rather than a dryer. The audience was polite, but she didn’t seem to feel they were really engaged with her concept.

Then one person remained behind and said that he’d like to do more, but he can’t hang laundry out. In their part of the world, such things were banned by housing ordinances or homeowners associations. She seemed a little understanding, but not really. Her goals for peoples’ adoption of her ideals came across as just too big to her for her to be able to see around them.

I’m not recounting this to run her down, but as a framing for what’s been on my mind. You can’t do it all. You won’t likely do it all. So do what you can.

Take a step today, just anything that’s closer to where you’d like to be. Try it for two weeks at least, or however long it takes to get it going. Then pick the next step, then the next.

Yeah, it’d be great if we could all dive right in and do everything we feel we ought to. But that’s not usually how life works, and the thought that we have to do that in order to be true to our goals just seems to be keeping us all, collectively, from even starting to move forward.

So… move forward. Then keep moving.

You’ll get there.

I’m pretty sure the way I managed it was practicing “postponement” – agreeing with myself that right now isn’t the best time to put my energy toward a situation, as this present moment isn’t when I can do anything about it. Either I don’t have all the necessary info, or I’m just not in a place where it can be helped. Therefore, I promised to do what I could to get into the right time and place and then put the needed energy to it.

This worked, with practice, because the part of myself that felt the deep importance of whatever it was I was worrying over didn’t feel neglected. It felt that I was giving it strong consideration, and rather than dismissing it, was merely trying to make sure it got the time and energy needed for such a momentous issue. (It doesn’t matter how trivial the issue; it’s absolutely EVERYTHING to the part of me that feels it’s so important, just like a baby with a favorite toy.)

It also helped to have a few things on tap to shift my attention to, such as something I COULD plan for, especially if it was something I could also look forward to. Or even just something positive to dwell on. Anything to keep the energy channeled toward something happy rather than manic.

Anyway, I still catch myself getting frantic now and then. But with practice, it’s gotten easier to redirect the energy.

I’ve been meaning to write something about this idea of “free love” I had a week or two back. I was thinking in terms of “free radical“, as in the idea of atoms, etc. with an open structure that allows them to readily interact in important ways.  From Wikipedia:

Free Radicals play an important role in combustion, atmospheric chemistry, polymerization, plasma chemistry, biochemistry, and many other chemical processes.

Anyway, I had a thought about being able to truly and freely love involves not being totally closed off or hung up with too strict a structure.  Too often our love is unwittingly tied up on the boundaries with needs and expectations that close us off more than we would otherwise choose.  If we can find ways to identify those bindings and open them up, we too will open up with deeper and freer love.

I’ll see if this thought gels more, and if so I promise to share soon after.

• Pour some chilled distilled water into a glass (I prefer distilled, and the cold helps the taste)
• Add 2 TB Apple Cider Vinegar (raw is best, such as Bragg’s)
• Add 1/4 tsp Baking Soda (aluminum free if you’ll be having it often)
• Stir until it gets nice and fizzy
• Wait 2 minutes*
• Hold your breath
• Drink.  Really, really fast.

* I read that it takes at least two minutes for the alkilanization or whatnot to happen, so I wait two minutes.

It’s like a bell for me each time I hear it, reminding me to stop and take notice of who I am and where I’m at. It interrupts my distraction, and I’m momentarily grateful for the beauty of it all. This is especially true when I happen to be awake in the middle of the night, particularly if it’s because I or someone else isn’t feeling well. It soothes me.

I remember that some cultures say that when bamboo rustles and creaks against each other in the wind, the spirits are trying to communicate.

So I try to listen.

The fun thing is that it seems like more good things show up once the welcome mat is put out. Whether the increase is in happenstance or happy attention, I don’t much care — more goodness is more goodness.

Besides, I’ve been cranky lately and could use the change of pace!

I then thought of three answers to these causes…

• Happiness: So we’re happy now and don’t know that we’ll be so happy in the new situation. There’s two things we need to realize here. First, there’s no way of knowing how happy we can be until we’re there. Second, there’s no way of knowing we’d have as easy a time staying happy should we not take that path!
• Inertia: Okay, this one’s tough. A static body has a much harder time getting moving than one that’s already in motion. However, that alone is reason to start going in any good direction. Easier said than done, but once started, it becomes easier done.
• Fear: Okay now this is just the biggie. So much of life gets ruled by fear, left to its own devices. It’s the most powerful phantom I know of. However, like any phantom, it’s also the easiest defeated once we go to punch a hole into it and find we can reach right through. The trick is to get as many facts as we can, identify which unknowns still give us the willies, and find the bolstering needed to cross our fingers and take the plunge.

Of course, change becomes easier with practice. Pick something you know you’ve been meaning to change, but start with something small and easy.  Stick with that, and try something just a bit harder. Don’t get discouraged when you slip, just nod at yourself and start again.

You’ll get the hang of it soon enough.

Each year, I try to think of something I should be working on anyway. Then once I’ve decided, I commit to trying for a long-term commitment, not just until Easter.

So this year I gave up something I’m allergic to as a “deliberate shopping choice”. I won’t be ‘freaky’ about it if there’s a little in something that’s my best option.  Also, if I’m feeling good and I’m offered food containing it, I’ll probably indulge.

Why the prewritten exceptions?  I know I’m not ready to give it up for long-term serious, so why pretend, even to myself?

The sun doesn’t shine for us. The sun shines because it takes its available energy and divides and divides and burns and burns and burns, doing its best to use its potential. As a result, it gives off a brightly generous light that makes our lives and everything in them possible. It gives us the chance to enjoy the greatest of gifts, without even having a finger to lift on our behalf.

I just figured I could learn from that, is all.