I ran into someone today and thought, “You are so beautiful!” I didn’t say it though, because so much about her gives her excuses to not see herself that way. Put her up next to the pics sent up by the magazines as Hollywood’s Most Beautiful Women, and she looks nothing like them, with just about every visual facet you could think of. Plus, I don’t know her, and we didn’t even interact, so it would be very easy to dismiss me as over-eager, disingenuous, vapid… all the ways I know I can come across in text, I can be moreso in person if we don’t connect right…
But then I got back to my desk and thought, “Wow. I do this all the time. I have something to say, and I don’t say it. I think ‘oh maybe sometime when the time is right, when I have the right words’, I will…” and then… well, this blog. I don’t say it.
So now I really must say that you are beautiful, and I’ll tell you why. You have that spark inside you that is so brilliant, so precious. You don’t show it to most people, probably even yourself. But every now and then, there’s probably a moment or two where you feel that breath of fresh air, that peace, that glimmer of something more. And it reflects inside of you, and shimmers with that sparklight of transcendent beauty with facets all your own. Most people may not see it, but I do.
The problem is, we’re all set up to respond, “Compared to what?”
You are beautiful. “Compared to whom?”
You are special. “How much… more or less than this other thing?”
You are such a precious gift of opportunity to the world. “Nah, I’ll never make as much of an impact as…”
But that’s ridiculous. We say things like “life isn’t a competition”, but that’s the habit we’re stuck in. Sure, there’s times when competition is exactly the nature of the game, but we mistake it for the POINT of the game. The POINT of things is to learn, to grow, to have fun, and to share ourselves with one another as furtherance in those processes. Sometimes competition is a part of that, but most of the time, cooperation has been proved to be the best way to strengthen the individual through collective effort. And our specialness is in how we are a part of that greater whole in our very own way, neither greater nor lesser than any other one part.
What’s been holding me back from writing is that I have this way of trying to make sure I’ve got the right time, the right space, the right thing to say… but right, compared to what? I don’t know what I’ve been trying to compare myself to, but I have been, and really, it’s been completely counterproductive. As a result, I haven’t even been showing up.
So please, let me just say this. You ARE unbelievably precious. I don’t care if you choose not to consciously believe me — I mean I care, because I would be so happy if you did, but that doesn’t change my mind.
I see the light-reflection within your heart, echoed in my own. I can’t deny my own heart, and I hope you find truth and peace within your heart, too.
Because that light in your heart is so very special, I would love for you to see it too.
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