The other day I read a study about middle school students and popularity. It used surveys to determine whether children felt well-liked, and whether their peers felt they were popular.
Would you believe there was only a 25% overlap of kids who were popular and also FELT like they were well-liked? Not only that, but kids who felt well-liked seemed just as well-adjusted and happy as those who were comfortably popular. Those who were popular but felt very unliked, however, weren’t doing so well. Far worse were those who felt very unliked and their classmates agreed.
It brought up again how hard it is for us to see ourselves as others see us, or sometimes even really be aware of others’ perceptions of us. We can have blind spots to our faults, sure, but we can also have serious blind spots to our strengths, too. That’s a real tragedy to me. It’s like having a $20 bill in the glove box when we’re super hungry but think we’re out of cash.
That’s why sincere friends (or even kind strangers!) are so great to have around. They can help us identify places we could improve, sure. But they can also help us see our own true beauty through their eyes. I can’t think of a greater gift someone can give.
Nynia in the Now 