Posts Tagged ‘martyrdom’

So, there was that break I took.  I suppose I invited it by starting to really focus on enjoying a positive association with everything.  That is how it tends to work: set yourself onto a path, and it likes to raise itself up to help you really learn how to walk it.

There has been a number of things that have carried with them their own positive association.  Many of these were easier to enjoy positively because I had decided to find that open connection and foster it.  I’m also now in a much better place than I was two weeks ago.

It was quite a chaotic path I took, however.  So much had to be brought up for examination and worked through that I just didn’t have the words to come over and share.  It was a very internal process, and it took all I had to process it all and still be there for the people here in my life.

Accepting that was part of my process, too.  I knew I wasn’t coming here and posting little thoughts, and I had to accept that despite my resolution this year, it simply wasn’t time.  Trying to make it “time” just because I felt obligated would have cost me for no practical purpose.

As someone recently told me, I need to learn when to be “selfish” in order to secure what I need.  Well, I’ve been told that a number of times, but it’s a lesson I’m finally learning.

May this next fortnight bring me lessons on how to enjoy a smooth and rewarding ride, in a way that supports what I need without frivolously costing anyone.

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I’ve been kinda waiting to post this thought in hopes it would develop further, but it hasn’t, so here’s what I’ve got —

The sun doesn’t shine for us. The sun shines because it takes its available energy and divides and divides and burns and burns and burns, doing its best to use its potential. As a result, it gives off a brightly generous light that makes our lives and everything in them possible. It gives us the chance to enjoy the greatest of gifts, without even having a finger to lift on our behalf.

I just figured I could learn from that, is all.

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