Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘motherhood’

cake-batter-bowl

I spent most of the evening on a new Super Healthy Cupcake Recipe.

It didn’t go well.

Granted, it didn’t go well mostly because of things I did. I over-filled the cupcake cups. I forgot my vanilla is twice as strong as normal, making the vanilla frosting into VANILLA! (frosting).

My little boy was very excited to be part of the cupcake-making process. (The distraction being part of how I lost track of things like that.) He was very much looking forward to enjoying his favorite treat that we made ourselves.

When I got the results into edible-seeming form, he tried it, then tried it again. He was clearly disappointed, but brushed that off and went back to playing. He had been more excited than I at the project, and then I was more disappointed that it didn’t work out.

He did tell me he wants me to keep trying, and that maybe tomorrow or Saturday we can get it right. I told him I’d tweak the recipe a little and do better next time.

After tucking him in, I still kept feeling disappointed the recipe didn’t turn out quite well. It can probably still be a Mostly Healthy Cupcake Recipe, and maybe I can even get it back to Super after I get the hang of it. But I used to be pretty good at making things like this, so it was getting to me.

Finally, I realized that it’s been a long time since I’ve tried this sort of thing. I don’t have the knack anymore, and it took up most of my evening, but I still gave it a good shot. Plus, I’m not planning to give up over it. As discouraging as my time has been lately, that really means something to me.

So as I try to get ready to sleep, I’m reminding myself to take the experience for what it was: I tried something new. Soon, I’m going to try something new in a better way. And I’ll keep at it as I keep getting better.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »

Because yesterday’s post was triggered by a tough time my toddler was having, I want to mention that usually he is a very well-behaved little boy. Yes, when his temper or patience gets pushed past its limits, he’ll have a meltdown. He’s a toddler. But otherwise, he’s usually very polite, with a brightly happy smile for everyone. It’s a joy to share his joy with the world.

Today, I spent as much time enjoying it as possible. I was mommy monkey to his clinging baby monkey, Thomas to his Percy, snack-buddy, and lounge-pillow. Though I wasn’t feeling entirely “on my game”, I put a focus on being “in the game”, present in each moment. I tried to emulate him in putting my attention into what we were doing, moving as quickly to the next bit of fun as he did.

As it turns out, I ended up feeling as though I’d had much more time in the day. I may not have gotten everything done that perhaps I ought, but I had a whole lot more relaxing fun not doing it.

Read Full Post »

Gold sun in blue sky 
Feet running on wet green grass
Look! There goes the wind!

Read Full Post »

Today, I spent most of the day with my son. So I’m going to share a koan for today’s Happy Zen Year celebration.

Shoun & His Mother

Shoun became a teacher of Soto Zen. When he was still a student his father passed away, leaving him to care for his old mother.

Whenever Shoun went to a meditation hall he always took his mother with him. Since she accompanied him, when he visited monasteries he could not live with the monks. So he would built a little house and care for her there. He would copy sutras, Buddhist verses, and in this manner receive a few coins for food.

When Shoun bought fish for his mother, the people would scoff at him, for a monk is not supposed to eat fish. But Shoun did not mind. His mother, however, was hurt to see others laugh at her son. Finally she told Shoun: “I think I will become a nun. I can be vegetarian too.” She did, and they studied together.

Shoun was fond of music and was a master of the harp, which his mother also played. On full-moon nights they used to play together. One night a young lady passed by their house and heard music. Deeply touched, she invited Shoun to visit her the next evening and play. He accepted the invitation. A few days later he met the young lady on the street and thanked her for her hospitality. Others laughed at him. He had visited the house of a woman of the streets.

One day Shoun left for a distant temple to deliver a lecture. A few months afterwards he returned home to find his mother dead. Friends had not known where to reach him, so the funeral was in progress.

Shoun walked up and hit the coffin with his staff. “Mother, your son has returned,” he said.

“I am glad to see you have returned, son,” he answered for his mother.

“Yes, I am glad too,” Shoun responded. Then he announced to the people about him: “The funeral ceremony is over. You may bury the body.”

When Shoun was old he knew his end was approaching. He asked his disciples to gather around him in the morning, telling them he was going to pass on at noon. Burning incense before the picture of his mother and his old teacher, he wrote a poem:

    For fifty-six years I lived as best I could,
    Making my way in this world.
    Now the rain has ended, the clouds are clearing,
    The blue sky has a full moon.

His disciples gathered around him, reciting sutra, and Shoun passed on during the invocation.

Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: