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Posts Tagged ‘selfishness’

So, there was that break I took.  I suppose I invited it by starting to really focus on enjoying a positive association with everything.  That is how it tends to work: set yourself onto a path, and it likes to raise itself up to help you really learn how to walk it.

There has been a number of things that have carried with them their own positive association.  Many of these were easier to enjoy positively because I had decided to find that open connection and foster it.  I’m also now in a much better place than I was two weeks ago.

It was quite a chaotic path I took, however.  So much had to be brought up for examination and worked through that I just didn’t have the words to come over and share.  It was a very internal process, and it took all I had to process it all and still be there for the people here in my life.

Accepting that was part of my process, too.  I knew I wasn’t coming here and posting little thoughts, and I had to accept that despite my resolution this year, it simply wasn’t time.  Trying to make it “time” just because I felt obligated would have cost me for no practical purpose.

As someone recently told me, I need to learn when to be “selfish” in order to secure what I need.  Well, I’ve been told that a number of times, but it’s a lesson I’m finally learning.

May this next fortnight bring me lessons on how to enjoy a smooth and rewarding ride, in a way that supports what I need without frivolously costing anyone.

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I just want to share some thoughts about compassion that have been kicking around in my head. Too often, I’ve run into people trying to treat kindness and compassion as weaknesses, as though it’s only volunteering to let yourself be taken advantage of. There’s a selfish view of the world out there that says there’s never enough to go around, and you have to get yours before somebody else takes it from you. That furthering your immediate self-interest is the only way to protect yourself. I see it another way.

Nature is filled with examples on how a cooperative and community-oriented approach makes for a much stronger and vibrant world. When we start feeling lost and assaulted by life in general, it helps to look to nature, whose beauty and peace is offered freely to everyone who takes the time to enjoy it. The only real threats to that balance come in when someone comes along treating it like another slice of the pie that they have to take while the taking’s good — and nobody stops them from ruining it for everybody.

In the face of a “get all you can” selfish and pessimistic worldview, it takes immense courage to be compassionate and kind. When you’re treated as though even love is a limited commodity, it takes great strength to offer it freely to others. When the world around us is churned up with the whole spectrum of misery and fear, expressions of simple joy are themselves courageous acts.

If you don’t believe me, try living both ways. Try living some days looking at everyone as a competitor and the world as a hostile place to be conquered. Then try living some days looking at everyone as a member of the same community within a world that has enough to offer to all who learn how to live well within it. Afterwards, figure out which outlook brought on feelings of helplessness and fear, and brought out feelings of being peaceful and strong.

Again, over the years, I’ve learned to choose peace.

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